Designed To Be Incompatible(?)

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Akhirnya, sebuah post dalam bahasa Indonesia lagi! Yah, tapi untuk judul tetap diseragamkan dengan sesama judul lainnya yaitu dalam bahasa Inggris…

Okay first of all, ada yang sudah menebak kira-kira yang gw katakan “designed to be incompatible” itu tentang apa (hint : category dari post ini). Yup! Yang gw maksud adalah tentang pendidikan.

Kenapa gw bilang sistem pendidikan kita designed to be incompatible? Tentunya perlu ada penjelasan tentang pendapat gw yang sangat kontroversial ini kan? Okay, keep your mind open and we’ll get to it soon.

Ingatkah kawan-kawan sekalian saat kita masih kecil — sebelum usia sekolah. Kita merupakan sosok-sosok yang sangat adventurous, senang mempelajari hal-hal baru, dan memiliki curiosity level yang tinggi. orang tua, dan orang-orang di sekitar kita senang melihat sifat kita yang demikian karena menurut mereka itu lucu, dan kalaupun sifat tersebut membuat kita melakukan tindakan-tindakan yang “nyeleneh” kita seringkali masih tetap dimaklumi karena kita masih kecil. Kemudian tibalah saatnya untuk masuk sekolah dan “peraturan mulai berubah”, masyarakat tidak lagi mengakomodasi curiosity kita ataupun mendukung jiwa adventurous kita. Suddenly, nilai tertinggi yang diterapkan pada kita adalah kepatuhan. Tidak boleh keluar dari barisan, harus pakai seragam, kalau mau apa-apa lapor sama guru, dsb.

Kebebasan kita untuk memiliki pemikiran sendiri pun mulai berkurang secara pesat, sebagai contoh : pasti guru dan orang tua kita menyalahkan kita bila kita menggambar gunung dan mewarnainya dengan warna putih kekuningan, “gunung itu hijau nak, yang beneran adanya begitu!” kata ibu (meskipun kalu dilihat-lihat lagi belum tentu benar demikian adanya, apalagi bila yang ingin kita gambar adalah gunung kapur). Dimulailah belasan tahun “penjajahan” pola pikir dimana pandangan dan pendapat kita dibentuk (atau bila tidak sepenuhnya dibentuk at least dipengaruhi) oleh authority figure (khususnya guru dan orang tua kita).

Mau mencoba hal baru dan menyalurkan kreativitas kita? Tentu saja boleh, tapi hati-hati bila tidak sesuai dengan “selera” para authority figures bisa-bisa malah diganjar nilai jelek atau bahkan hukuman. Awalnya kita mungkin berpikir “ah, nilai tidak begitu penting, itu kan hanya angka” dan “dihukum ga masalah deh, ga parah-parah amat juga hukumannya”, tapi kemarahan orang tua, cemoohan teman-teman, dan pandangan meremehkan dari masyarakat ketika kita dapat nilai jelek atau sering mendapat hukuman membuat kita berpikir ulang sebelum “bereksperimen. Perlahan-lahan kita menjadi takut untuk mencoba hal yang baru dan puas hanya dengan stay in the comfort zone.

Tentu saja hal ini tidak sepenuhnya buruk, banyak hal yang disampaikan melalui pembentukan pola pikir oleh authority figures ini yang memperluas wawasan kita. Dan keteraturan dan kepatuhan yang selalu dituntut dari kita oleh para authority figures ini juga bukan hal yang buruk. Namun efek samping dari sistem pendidikan seperti ini menjadikan kita too boxed in, dan hal inilah yang ingin gw soroti.

Setelah belasan tahun berada dalam sistem seperti yang gw jabarkan diatas,  tibalah saatnya untuk memasuki dunia kerja. Dan pada saat kita mulai mencari pekerjaan atau berusaha menaiki tangga karir di pekerjaan kita, kita pun mulai melihat “ada yang salah nih”. Yang banyak dicari dan bisa sukses adalah orang yang kreatif, bisa berpikir out of the box, terbuka terhadap hal-hal baru, mudah beradaptasi pada perubahan. Padahal belasan tahun pendidikan kita justru menempatkan kita pada keseragaman pola pikir dan keteraturan, mendorong kita untuk tetap berada di dalam comfort zone dan jangan sering mencoba-coba hal yang tidak pasti.

Setahu saya, pendidikan yang kita terima selama bertahun-tahun itu salah satu tujuannya adalah untuk mempersiapkan kita dalam menghadapi dunia kerja. Tapi, melihat pembahasan ada paragraf-paragraf di atas, koq yang dihasilkan dari sistem pendidikan tersebut malah kebalikannya dari apa yang diperlukan dalam dunia kerja?  Apakah memang sistem pendidikan kita “designed to be incompatible“? Pasti kawan-kawan pernah mendengar anekdot seperti berikut : yang nilainya paling bagus jadi dosen, yang nilainya sedang-sedang saja jadi karyawan, dan yang nilainya paling jelek justru jadi seorang bos atau pengusaha sukses. Mungkin anekdot tersebut dimulai dari sekadar justifikasi seorang yang nilainya jelek, tapi tidak dapat dipungkiri bahwa kejadian nyata cukup banyak kasus seperti dalam anekdot tersebut. Karena sampai sekarang nilai masih digunakan sebagai satuan yang DIANGGAP paling representatif dalam menunjukkan ompetensi seseorag dalam bidang pendidikan, bukankah kasus seperti anekdot tersebut merupakan suatu symptom bahwa “ada yang salah” dalam sistem pendidikan kita? Atau memang (gw ulang lagi pertanyaannya) sistem ini “designed to be incompatible“?

Bonus Cerita : (Ini hanya fiksi belaka, kesamaan nama karakter dan tempat merupakan sama sekali idak disengaja)

Fauntleroy, seorang pemuda yang rajin dan dulinya merupakan murid teladan, selalu mendapat nilai yang bagus, tidak pernah di-skors, penurut, disayangi guru, dan tidak pernah mencoba yang aneh-aneh. Banyak orang mengira dia akan menjadi orang yang sangat sangat sukses. Tapi nyatanya sekarang dia adalah seorang dengan dead-end job dan tidak bahagia, padahal dia telah mengaplikasikan hal-hal yang telah ia pelajari ke dalam kehidupan profesional-nya. Ia pun berpikir “koq bisa begini? pasti ada yang salah deh. Apa ada hal yang gw miss ya waktu dulu belajar di SMA atau kuliah?” Maka Fauntleroy pun mengingat-ingat benang merah dari pengalaman-pengalamannya belajar selama belasan tahun…..

Guru Fisikanya waktu dia sekolah dulu sering bercerita tentang Thomas A. Edison yang harus gagal berkali-kali dalam membuat bohlam. Namun ketika dia melakukan SATU kali kesalahan menyambung kabel ketika praktikum Fisika sehingga menyebabkan korslet listrik di Lab, gurunya tersebut marah-marah luar biasa.

Ibu Fauntleroy sangat mengagumi Ian Thorpe dan Usain Bolt, “mereka atlit yang hebat! Kamu harus jadikan mereka contoh!”. Tapi justru Ibunya lah yang menyuruh Fauntleroy berhenti dari ekskul basket yang diikutinya, yang merupakan satu-satunya kesempatan bagi Fauntleroy untuk berolahraga secara rutin agar Fauntleroy bisa belajar lebih banyak sehingga nilainya bagus.

Dosen Fauntleroy yang selalu mengingatkannya akan pentingnya bersikap jujur dan menghindari kecurangan akademis, mengakui hasil penelitian mahasiswanya sebagai miliknya, dan dengan sedikit modifikasi mengirimkannya sebagai jurnal akademis karyanya.

Fauntleroy pun merenung, dia melihat bahwa benang merah dari banyak hal yang diajarkan kepadanya adalah KONTROVERSI, dan tentu saja sebagai seorang pelajar yang baik Fauntleroy mengaplikasikannya ke dalam kehidupannya. Ia pun mencalonkan diri menjadi pejabat daerah dan melalui apa yang dia pelajari dalam Sosiologi, PPKn, dan Bahasa Indonesia, dia berhasil mendapat jabatan yang cukup tinggi. Lalu untuk soal KONTROVERSI, ia tentunya tidak lupa mengaplikasikannya yaitu dengan sering berpidato tentang kesejahteraan masyarakat dan moral namun melakukan korupsi di belakangnya. Sebuah bentuk KONTROVERSI yang jelas bukan? Fauntleroy pun memiliki karir yang baik dan sangat “menghasilkan” sekarang dan dia bahagia. Semuanya tentu saja karena ia telah berhasil mengaplikasikan apa yang telah diajarkan padanya selama belasan tahun : KONTROVERSI.

Chris’ Coffee Time Analogy

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Arrogance and fanaticism to knowledge are like sour aftertaste to a premium coffee. It’s a bad part of something good, but unfortunately it bound to coexist with the good thing.

A Guide To Driving In Jakarta

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So you are the new face in town, or maybe you just got your driver’s license, or you want to start driving again after a long time…, worry not, i will tell you some crucial points you need to know when you are driving in Jakarta.

Traffic Lights

The way the traffic lights in Jakarta works in the same as anywhere else. But the INTERPRETATION is slightly different.

The Red Light means stop. Just the same as anywhere else.

The Green Light means Go or keep going. This also the same with anywhere else.

The Yellow Light is a bit more trickier. While in most places the yellow light means caution, here in Jakarta it has several interpretations :

  • The yellow light as a transition from green light to red light means : Throttle like crazy you fool! Hurry before the light turn red! Go go go!!!!!!
  • The yellow light as a transition from red light to green light :
    • If you are in the front line : Hurry MOVE!! Don’t waste even a millisecond. And don’t even think to wait till the light turn to green before pedaling the gas.
    • If you are not in the front line : If the car in front of you waste just a millisecond before pedaling to the floor, HONK! Yes, HONK like crazy!!!

If you are used to a more civilized conduct on the street, you may need a little getting used to. But don’t worry I think you’ll wrap your head around this whole “yellow light rule” in no time.

Highway

This you may already knew :

The highway is usually consist of three lanes plus one emergency lane. The common sense (for the country where the driver seat is at the front right part of the car) is out of the three lanes (excluding the emergency lane)the right-most lane is “the fastest lane” and the left-most lane is “the slowest lane”.

So if one day you feel unsure about driving because you are sleepy at the time, or you think maybe there’s something wrong with your tires, it’s just seems sensible to go to real slow and therefore go all the way left to the emergency lane.”After all, these kind of conditions are what the emergency lane is intended for, right?” you thought. You can’t be more WRONG!!! It seems that for the people driving in Jakarta getting 15 minutes or 30 minutes sooner to their destination is considered THE ULTIMATE EMERGENCY — reflected in how they utilize the emergency lane just like the right-most lane. The Emergency lane is the fast lane…that is UNLESS there’s a patrolling police around, those drivers tend to dramatically change their actions at the sight of a patrolling officer, I’m not sure why.

Another thing you should pay attention to while driving in Jakarta’s highway is the speed limit. Your GPS may tell you that in most the maximum speed limit is 100 kmph, but you will see that most drivers ignore this and yet no highway patrol on their tails. As a matter of fact, try driving on the fast lane and drive at 100 kmph when you can go faster, I guarantee the driver behind you will be pissed off. In short, drivers in Jakarta expect you to drive as if you are constantly in a hurry. And what about the speed limit signs? Just ignore them,I suspect they are expired a long time ago and kept there for nostalgic and (un)decorative purpose.

Turn Signal

My suggestion to you is : Learn mind reading quick!

There are three types of drivers in Jakarta regarding their usage of turn signals :

  • The Sensible Drivers. These are the drivers who use turn signals as they supposed too. Good news : this gesture has a high correlation with ethical and safe driving. Bad News : the population of these type of drivers are growing smaller each passing days.
  • The To0-cool-for-turn-signals Drivers. These drivers are the main reason for you to follow my suggestion to learn mind reading. The too-cool-for-turn-signals drivers expect you to know exactly when they will change lanes or make a turn, therefore they never bother using the turn signals. Traffic accidents caused by this type of drivers is quite common, and yet unfortunately the population of this type of drivers is slowly but surely increasing.
  • The “At-least-they-tried” Drivers. This type of drivers is the other reason for you to learn mind reading. This type of drivers is more considerate, they actually use the turn signals — it’s a good thing right? For one little kink : they’re giving the wrong signals (i.e : lighting the left turn signals when they are actually want to make a right turn). Some of the drivers of the population are the too-cool-for-turn-lights driver who already repent, it’s just that they haven’t used the turn signals for so long they apparently forgotten how to operate it — thus the wrong signals. The rest of the population of this type of drivers consist of nervous amateurs and drivers who just can’t get the signals right for the reason only the heaven can explain. But well…at least they tried.

Advanced Technique

So you get a hold of the basics and you want more? You want to Jakarta’s next bad-ass drivers? Here’s some tips :

For reasons that escape me, most drivers in Jakarta considered driving like you are in such a hurry and recklessly along with a few rules breaking  as a display of driving expertise. So up to that standard you may want to :

  • Maximize the usage of your car horn. Just honk like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Minimize the usage of brake. Anytime you need to slow down don’t do it unless it’s the only option, instead just change lanes — do a zigzag driving. and yes you’ll be so focused at maintaining and increasing your velocity you may as well just ignore the usage of turn signals.

Well a friendly words of advice : If you really want to apply those two techniques I suggest you to do these things beforehand :

  • Make sure you have a car insurance and heck why not a life insurance as well, just in case.
  • Write a will, just in case.
  • Make peace with everyone dear to you, just in case.
  • Make sure you’re driving alone or with people with the same  insani…*cough*I mean guts as yours.

Okay, I think that’s about it. Happy Driving!!

Superheroes Among Us

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Well, do you recognize them? The superheroes around us? There are actually quite a lot of them.

No, I’m not lying. It’s true that there are superheroes among us that you probably get to see on a daily basis.

Okay, I know you still don’t believe me. So let’s start the explanation…

  • What is the basic requirement of a superhero?

Well, one of the basic requirement is to have some kind of power or ability.

  • Will animal’s power/ability do the trick?

Of course, just see Spider-man with his spider ability, Aqua man with his fish ability, etc.

  • Well I guess that makes someone a super-being, but superhero require more than that….

True. A superhero is the super-being who use their power/ability to do some good for others, to make the world of better place.

Okay, now with that concept let’s take a little more observant look at our daily life. When you were in a queue, did you ever see someone try to cut the line? And got irritated by that selfish gesture? Well that sucks right? But unfortunately more and more people are being that ignorant nowadays. Such a shame, because as Ms. Clarentia Prameta said in her blog post “Bebek Aja Bisa Ngantri”Even Ducks Know How To Queue.

Even ducks can queue

Hey wait…now if that be the case…doesn’t it mean that the other peoples in the queuing line, the ones who are not being selfish and try to cut the line a super-being? (remember the concept of the super being stated above?)

How so? Because they possess the power/ability of the DUCKS — they know how to queue and they can do it well.

And even more, by using the ability of the DUCKS, those super-beings has make the world a better place. They help preventing chaos from happening (try picturing a queuing line where NO ONE want to queue and instead tackling each other to be in front of the line — now that’s chaos), they preserve peace. Should there be no people that want to queue, maybe none of the people that can whatever service given in the front of the line, so even though they too are in a rush, they sacrifice their precious time for greater benefit of others. Just like what SUPERHEROES in my childhood comic books, they make the world a better place.

So there you have it…the Superheroes among us. I hope now we all have a greater respect towards those people patiently queuing in line, they are superheroes after all

Whoops!

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Amusing what you can find if you take time to look into some details.

Ground Bean? What the hell happened to "PEANUT"?

 

I'm not sure what "Batt ray" is. but I'm sure that it has nothing to do with X-Ray or Blu Ray

I think she decided to change her stage name...mmm...I think the change is too subtle though

Anyone in a mood for light bites? Some "SNEK" maybe?

No littering! Please put your "trush" in the "trush" bin...Wait...what the hell is a "trush"?

Do You Belive in Saint Nick? Or At Least Did you?

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Hey guess what? Christmas is drawing near!! It’s Christmas Eve already! (Whew, it took me long enough to finish this entry)Yay!! And when I say “Christmas”, what passes your mind? Mistletoe, Hanged stocking, fireplace, Christmas tree with fancy lights, and many others right? But I’m sure among that long list of things, there’s one very significant figure : The dear old Santa! Saint Nicholas or Saint Nick or Santa Claus or here in Indonesia (due to the Dutch influence) called Sinterklaas is one of the most if not THE MOST anticipated character when Christmas come, especially for the children all over the world. A nice old grandfatherly type ultra-philanthropist that wear read suit and pointy hat and ride a reindeer sleigh — Epic, ultimate EPIC!

But beyond that, do you realize that Santa is a proof of how powerful a belief is?

So, as the title say : Do you believe in Santa Claus? Or at least did you? If you do or at least you did when you’re a child then CONGRATULATION! You’ve taken part in an amazing phenomenon where a mere legend made real because of beliefs (I’m talking about THE Santa). What do I mean by that? Well…, keep on reading!

Do you remember when you were still a little child? It was Christmas eve and you are having this kind of conversation with your parents :

Little Chris  (LC) : Daddy! It’s Christmas eve! I’m so excited! Tonight Santa Claus will come here and give me presents.

Dad (D) : Well don’t be so sure young one, have you been nice this year?

LC : Of course dad! I’ve counted, I only got kicked out of the class 3 times this year while last year I got kicked out 7 times. I have been a much nicer kid!

D : Errr…, well that’s an improvement. But next time, maybe Santa won’t give you any present unless you NEVER got kicked out of the class.

LC : *look at at dad strangely* No dad! Jeez, don’t you know anything at all about Santa? He’s a very nice guy, he won’t be that mean to me.

D : What the..? *ahem* well anyway, how about round here? Have you been helping your mom out?

LC : OF COURSE! I helped her making a cake one day and I guess I helped her out SO MUCH so that she said “I appreciate you trying to help out today, but I guess I WON’T BE NEEDING YOU TO HELP OUT WITH ANY DISHES EVER AGAIN”

D : I honestly not sure if it’s a good think son but…well okay I guess Santa will come around this year after all *stare lovingly at little Chris and curl up a smile*

LC : Yeah! No doubt! I always know he will, I don’t understand why you are being so skeptical about it.

Mom (M) : I know you are excited dear, but now it’s time for you to go to bed.

LC : But, but…Mom! I don’t fell like sleeping right now, I wanna wait up for Santa Claus to come bring me my present.

M : But you can’t, Santa only come once you are fast asleep, now be a good boy and change in to your pajamas okay?

LC : But mom! It doesn’t make sense, how can he even know whether I’m asleep or not?

M : Now now dear, no arguing on Christmas eve…remember? We’ve agreed to that. Now come here and drink your warm milk before going to bed.

LC : *sigh* Okay mom…

D : Attaboy *pat Little Chris on the head*

and so little Chris go to his bed, BUT with no intention of sleeping, he’s planning to just fake sleeping and wait until Mr. Claus show up to thank him in person for the presents. But it seems that jumping around all day due to anxiousness toward Christmas eve combined with the warm milk he had earlier is not very helping with his cunning plan — he eventually fell asleep and just like the previous years, failed to meet the Santa in person.

The next day, on Dec 25th very early in the morning, little Chris is already up. He usually doesn’t wake up this early, but today is an exception, it’s “present opening day” (a.k.a The Christmas day, duh!). Little Chris is all fired up.

LC : Morning mom, dad! So, HE came didn’t HE?

M : Why don’t you just check it yourself, dear? Are there any presents beneath our Christmas tree.

LC : Yeah, it’s here! a big present box addressed for me! Yay! I’m gonna open it right away.

Mom and Dad just smile and watch Little Chris impatiently trying to open his box of presents.

LC : But dad and mom, have you ever wondered why Santa never want to meet the children he’s giving presents to in person? I mean, he only come when we’re asleep right? So we can’t meet him and say thanks?

D: Didn’t you leave a thank you note for Santa underneath the Christmas tree?

LC : Yeah I did, but that’s not the point. I WANT to meet him in person… I wonder is it because Santa is really a shy type? He doesn’t seem like one, but who knows?

M : *laughing* Maybe son, maybe.

LC : He doesn’t have to be shy with me. Well his fashion sense maybe a bit off compared to today’s standard I mean that red suit and pointy hat? I can see how he can be uncomfortable meeting people who always criticize him on that. But me, I won’t judge him on that. Ah…, I guess I’ll let him know that I don’t care about  his fashion sense next year when i write him the letter and my Christmas list.

Mom and Dad looked at each other and start laughing. Mom is about to give response to Little Chris’ remark, but Dad stopped her and make a gesture sign saying “just let it be” and they continue laughing.

At last, little Chris manage to completely unpack his box of present (the reason it takes so long is because as anxious as he is, little Chris don’t like ripping off the wrapper of his presents, he prefer to “keep things civilized” and ripping of things seems so “barbaric” for him)

LC : Look dad, it’s laser gun toy just like I wanted!

D : Good for you son!

LC : But wait, it’s a little different from what I wanted, yes, it’s definitely a different model. I asked for the one which can shoot 3 different laser colors and make 12 different sounds. This one only shoot one laser color and make 5 different sounds.

D : Son, you have to learn to be thankful even though it is…*little Chris cut him out*

LC : Well of course Dad, I know it’s different from what I asked for but I’m still very thankful for this. As a matter of fact I understand completely why he’s giving me this model instead of the one I asked for.

D : Really?You do?

LC : Yeah! Recently, people have been talking about the financial crisis and how things are getting more expensive right? I bet Santa and his elves have financial crisis too up there in North Pole, poor fellas…

D : Um…, well I don’t think…, err…whatever, you’re probably right, son.

Well, in some years to come little Chris has grown into not-so-little-anymore and learn that dear old Santa is a historical, legendary figure who in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24 (italicized red-colored text is excerpted from Wikipedia definition of Santa Claus). So Santa Claus is actually don’t exist in reality (at least that’s what Chris’ grown up friends and acquaintances believe and induce to him).

But let’s look at things this way : When you are a child you believe that Santa Claus exist, so strongly you believe that this is true so that it is made-so, in your childhood it is made so by your parents by providing you presents underneath the Christmas tree. Your parents may not have created the character, the figure  of Saint Nick but they create the action — the present giving action of Santa Claus, therefore live up the legend of SantaSanta made real to you by your parents (or at least made real action-wise).

But, hey! What do you know? Your belief in Saint Nick has appeal more than just your parents, they appeal this group of people called : “Marketing Force”. You see now, that when you go to a mall, you usually can find Mr. Claus IN PERSON, complete with his white beard, pointy hat, red suit and sometimes even with his companion Zwarte Piet and the elves. WELL, maybe this VERSION of Santa is not everything you expect. His beard is most likely fake, and he prefer handing out flyers or having photo ops with children rather than climbing your roof, down your chimney, and drop presents underneath your Christmas tree (but hey, who can’t blame him? Going up the roof and down the chimney is not an activity considered “safe” for a man his age plus with the constant growing population of the world, delivering presents to each and every children is getting tougher with every passing years. No wonder Santa take a better career opportunity of handing out flyers and having photo ops) and the worst of it all, this version of Santa usually can’t even remember the names of his reindeer other than the red nosed one. But Hey…, you can’t always have what you want the way you wanted it, right?

But look at the fact : You can enjoy the “action” of Santa — the presents underneath your Christmas tree  (this is mostly only works when you’re still a child) and you can see the actual “character” of Santa all because the children keep on believing in Santa. Wondrous, what a mere believe can do, right?

Eligibility Model (Part 1)

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Okay, fundamental question I often asked about romantic relationship:

In determining whether someone willing to engage in romantic relationship with you or not which is more important? Is it :

  • Who you are, or
  • What you do

Before going any further, I want to underline that even though one of the dimension of the two stated above may seems more crucial than the other (after this elaboration) it doesn’t mean you can just focus on one of the dimension and neglect the other . Both play their own role, different role but both are significant nonetheless. I happen to have developed my own equation about this matter to give better picture of how I think this thing works (please acknowledge that this equation is a simplified — or some might say oversimplified model to represent the real condition; therefore it may not reflect EVERY single case out there, but I think this works in general sense).

I know some of you don’t like or even downright despise math — but please bear with me to take a look a the equations I made. I assure you this is FUN math (I guess…I hope you find it fun as well) and much much less complicated than those you found at the trigonometry or integral and differential math classes.

The equation goes like this :

Eligibility = WhoYouAre  x WhatYouDo
where :
WhoYouAre is a binary variable
WhatYouDo is a real variable

Value of WhoYouAre variable represents a person’s “given” –I acknowledge  that the word “given” makes it look like this is an unchangeable attribute; well the truth is these attribute (will be elaborated later) CAN be changed, but rather hard to, and even though one managed to, it takes quite some time

Okay Wait Up… you say

According to your equation, the WhoYouAre variable is a binary, meaning the value is either 1 or o…So, the failure in getting the value of 1 in WhoYouAre variablle will make the equation goes like this : (represented in WhatYouDo variable)

Eligibility = 0 (zero) x WhatYouDo = 0 (zero) = Ineligible(???)

So in short you’re saying that if someone don’t fulfill some qualification regarding who they are (because it’s what WhoYouAre variable is about) no matter what they do (represented in WhatYouDo variable) , it will be for naught….WHAT THE HELL?!!

I’m sorry to say, but bluntly speaking…yes that’s one of the point of the equation. I know that some of you may argue that this is untrue. But please hear out (or in this case, blog-wise…read out) my explanation beforehand. I understand why this idea might be disturbing for some or even maybe for most, it’s because of “people constantly feel the NEED to have CONTROL”. My idea make some uncomfortable because it indicates how crucial a variable which is not under your control in determining your eligibility. You can’t control whether you are born in a wealthy family or not, you can’t choose your looks before you are being born, you can’t choose the society will be born in (and therefore  predict what values will be “injected” to your mind) and YET, these things act as a prerequisite of your eligibility in the face of your romantic partner prospect. If you don’t have some qualification regarding it, everything else you do won’t help your chance of ever engaging romantically with the one you fancy — a prerequisite. Yeah…fairness.., I see that it’s a sensitive issue. Many won’t accept that the world is unfair, many won’t accept that sometimes effort can’t outrun mere luck. But let’s take an honest look around and an honest look back and ask yourself this “how many unfairness do you see exist around you? How many times you stumble to a condition where you say ‘that’s unfair’ but yet as the time passes the condition stay unchanged?” or “Haven’t you seen slackers that’s doing significantly better than the hard-workers?”. Got my point? It’s not ideal, I know but unfortunately it’s the truth — the ugly truth some might say.

Okay let’s drop the “fairness” issue and just got back to our main topic, the eligibility model. Now that you know the significance of the WhoYouAre variable, you just gotta have a closer look right? What this variable really consist of?

The equation to determine the value of WhoYouAre variable goes like this :

WhoYouAre = ROUND[(FAQ+PQ+GC+VC)/4]

Okay, now let’s go through every variable in that equation :

  • FAQ stands for Fixed Attribute Qualification. This represents whether someone fulfill a certain preference standard of his/her romantic partner prospect’s regarding given attribute such as looks and talents and ability. FAQ is also a binary variable. FAQ value will be 1 if the person fulfill the standard and 0 if the person don’t.
  • PQ stands for Possession Qualification. This represents whether someone fulfill a certain preference standard of his/her romantic partner prospect’s regarding wealth. Again PQ is a binary variable. PQ value will be 1 if the person is wealthy enough to surpass the standard and 0 if not.
  • GC stands for Goal Compatibility. GC is yet another binary variable. This represents whether someone and his/her romantic partner prospect are after the same thing (in general) or not. If they do the value of GC will be 1 and 0 if the don’t.
  • VC stands for Value Compatibility. Guess what? You should be familiar with it by now, yes this is yet another binary variable. Everyone has their own sets of value of which they value highly and well…not so highly, right? Well, this variable represents whether someone and his/her romantic partner prospect share a “compatible” sets of value. “Compatible” doesn’t mean they must share the same sets of value though (it will virtually be Impossible). However, Ican’tsay to be exact how many is the minimal number of similar values shared between the two or the maximal number of conflicting value between the two to be able to be said “compatible”. This is more of a subjective field. But worry not, you’ll know whether you are compatible (value-wise) with some one or not — you got feelings and intuition, right? (Sorry I know, this explanation is still rather delicate, but for now this is all I got). Either way…, if one’s set of values is compatible with his/her romantic partner prospect’s, the value of VC will be 1 and as usual it’ll be 0 if not.

ROUND[x] Function

in this case, x=(FAQ+PQ+GC+VC)/4

  • if x < 0.5 then Round[x] = 0
  • if x>0.5 then Round[x]=1
  • if x = 0.5 then it depends on your romantic partner prospect’s demanding level.
    • if x= 0.5 and your romantic partner prospect is rather “demanding” then Round[x]=0
    • if x= 0.5 and your romantic partner prospect is rather “not so demanding” then Round[x]=1

Still not convinced that “who you are” (represented in the 4 dimensions above) is significant? Okay let’s go through that four dimensions mention earlier okay?

  • Fixed attribute (looks, physical feature, abilities, talents) is important because…Oh! I got a  rather “exciting”  example. Ask your teenage sister or any of your teenage female acquaintance about Edward Cullen‘s (he’s a character in Stephenie Meyer’s novel lest you don’t know) “romantic protective and caring” acts (Errrr….<<this unofficial umm.. “commentary” is really not supposed to be here, but well…). Now let’s ask them to change Edward Cullen to “their unattractive classmate” and ask them to picture him to do the same “romantic protective and caring” acts as Edward Cullen’s. Now they’re no longer refer it to “romantic protective and caring” acts, now they’re calling it the way I’m calling it : STALKING!! Got my point? I hope you do.
  • Possession (as in wealth) is important because…C’mon…Do I really need to elaborate this? As much as people hate to admit that it is an issue in a relationship, the fact is : it IS. Nuff said.
  • In elaborating the significance of goal and value, I’ll use an analogy. Having a relationship is like running a three legged race. In analogy to the race, your goal is your destination of the race, and your values are the parameters. Can you imagine running a three legged race with someone having different race destination from your? It can be done, sure all you have to do is reaching those two destinations in turn. But it will require more efforts and therefore more tiresome, not to mention the conflict that may occur : whose destination should be reached first? As for the case with values as the parameters, imagine this : you’re trying to run a marathon while your partner trying sprint. Though and very tiring isn’t it? Same is before, it can be done…but it’ll be very hard — if not EXTREMELY hard. Got my point? I guess you do!

Okay, now that we’re pretty much gone through the WhoYouAre section, let’s move on to WhatYouDo….

What’s that? this post has gone long enough–too long even? Whew, I guess you’re right. I don’t want to bore you out so let’s just continue this some other post okay? We’ll talk about WhatYouDo variable of the equation and the importance of Value compatibility because in turned to be, not only in WhoYouAre equation, Value play a role in WhatYouDo equation too. So.., be waiting for Part 2!



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